Pursuant to the previous piece re: Paul Auster’s suggestions on how to shorten the games, I offer this reboot of the seventh-inning stretch “anthem”:

Take me out

Buy me some peanuts.

I don’t care.

Let us root root for the laundry;

If they don’t win, meh.

For it’s two strikes, you’re out.

The end.

(Time of game: 2:10)